


Come Find Me

by Jicklet



Series: Mages of Thedas [5]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:57:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15380139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jicklet/pseuds/Jicklet
Summary: Alistair didn't come back from Weisshaupt. On the day before Leliana leaves to become Divine, the Hero of Ferelden shows up at Skyhold.Amell makes plans, and runs into old friends. Something written entirely to give myself hope after Here Lies the Abyss.





	1. Chapter 1

Like a lucid dreamer, mages with focus can control themselves in the Fade while they sleep. Kara uses this to check in on Alistair in the times they’re apart. As an actual dreamer, he’s still out of it, and even though he’s agreed to it, she tries not to pop in on his private dreamspace too often. Still, it helps ease her worries. 

Until the one night she goes looking… and can’t find him. She can feel him. He’s here -- somewhere -- but his spirit feels off. 

Confused, she tried seeking out Astrid, but the other mage had been hiding. Kara hadn’t been suspicious at the time, Hawke’s private about her mind, despite appearances. 

Still, she can’t worry too hard.  _ She’s found it. _ She’s found the Wardens’ solution. 

The months apart from familiar faces have been hard, and when she arrives at Weishaupt and almost immediately runs into her cousin, she’s beyond thrilled.  _ “Hawke!”  _ She throws her arms around her, but something is wrong. Astrid is stiff, her arms hanging limply. “Kara, I’m…” She won’t meet her eyes. “I have something to tell you.” 

Her face is wracked with pain as she lays out the truth. Alistair was left behind. Physically in the Fade. Fighting alone. 

Kara jumps from shock straight to anger. It boils inside her, and she turns on her heel and leaves before she says something she’ll regret, ignoring the anguished apologies that follow her. She makes arrangements to debrief the rest of the Warden-Commanders in the morning, then arranges for a room. Cries herself to sleep out of frustration and pain. 

They can’t have gone through all that to have things end like…  _ this. _

But when she sleeps, she knows where to go. 

She’s always avoided the Nightmare realm. She’s not stupid. But it’s where she finds him now,  _ alive.  _ If her heart beat in this place, she would feel it come back to life. They can’t touch (he’s physically there, she’s all but a dream), and they can only talk for a short time before she has to go, but it’s enough. 

_ “Find the Inquisitor. I love you.” _


	2. Chapter 2

On the day before Leliana leaves to become Divine, the Hero of Ferelden shows up at Skyhold.

While Kara’s always been tall for a human female, and Kassia short for a Qunari, the Inquisitor is still a head and some horns taller than the Warden. Still, Kara isn’t intimidated. She’s always had a natural charm, and the years have only increased it. She’s heartfelt and honest, but once Leliana hears she’s there, it’s all over.

“Alistair’s alive, Leli,” she says through tears.

Leliana hides her shock well, but Kara’s known her too long. “All of me thought it was wrong to hope, but…”

“Can we find him?”

Kassia nods solemnly. “Leaving him was on me. If there’s a way to save him, I’ll do anything you need.”

Anger and gratefulness swirl within her, but Kara can breathe again.

This lasts until Leliana reveals her own news. “Kara... Morrigan is here.”

_“What?!”_

“And there’s someone with her you’ll want to meet.”

\---

Her heart is pounding in her ears. She might throw up. No battle has made her this nervous in years as this calm day in a garden.

“Morrigan.” It comes out as a whisper. _Get it together, Kara._ _“Morrigan!”_

The witch freezes. Turns, very deliberately. And there she is. It’s as if no time has passed since she stepped through that mirror all those years ago, taking part of Kara’s heart with.

Kara needs to move. Can’t. _She might disappear if I move._

Both stand frozen.

Leliana nudges her. “Go to her.”

Kara stumbles forward. “Hi,” her smile feels stupid on her face.

But Morrigan smiles back, her smile almost shy. “What comes… _my friend?”_

Kara feels tears spring to her eyes as she hears the words she’s missed for years. Her grin breaks wider. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Impulsively, she moves in for a hug, then pulls back. You don’t hug Morrigan. Except apparently you do now, because the witch is tentatively holding her arms out. Kara throws herself onto her, laughing in relief. _She’s real, she’s here._

“I can’t believe this! Where have you been? How are you back?

But before Morrigan can offer any explanation -- “Hello.”

And then there’s a tiny black-haired child, smiling at her shyly. And oh, that smile… _Alistair’s smile._ Her heart breaks. She knows who this child is. “Hello.” 

“This … is Kieran.” introduces Morrigan.

“Hello, Kieran,” Kara says gently. “My name is Kara. I’m an old friend of your mother’s.” Her voice is thick.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he says sweetly. Morrigan’s genes were very strong, clearly, but certain bits were undeniably Alistair. The shape of his eyes. That smile she misses so much she can't take it. “May I hug you, sweetheart?” She asks kindly. He nods, and she embraces him.

She’s been doing her best to hold back her loneliness and heartache, but it swells hot and fierce, and she has to claw it back behind its gates.

(They’d tried, but a child had never been in the cards for them.)

“Why are you crying?” the small voice asks. “Did I say something to make you sad?”

“Oh no, that’s just something my face does sometimes,” she laughs, smiling at this sweet child.

She is going to get him back.


	3. A Tangent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when you run into that weird guy from high school that used to have a crush on you before you both went through A Lot

She’s walking back through the yard when -- _ "Cullen?!” _ Of all the people she’d never expected to see again!

He stops dead. He’d been carrying himself with such confidence, he’s obviously someone here. But setting eyes on her sends them both back ten years. “A-Apprentice Amell!” 

She smiles wryly. Remnants of an old, old life. “It’s Warden-Commander now, actually. Though just Kara is fine.” 

“O-of course. I’d heard. Congratulations.” She sees all the things he wants to say flick across his face and smothers a laugh. Congratulations on… running the Grey Wardens? On saving Ferelden? 

She does smile. “And I did pass my Harrowing you know.” 

He winces. “I know.” 

“You were there!” 

“O-of course, I…” 

She’s been trying to tease him, but it only seems to make him more tense. She remembers, belatedly, how he was meant to kill her had she failed. Perhaps that wasn’t the  _ best  _ memory to bring up. She’s grasping for something to turn this around when he starts again.

“I want to apologize for… last time, I wasn’t--” 

Baffled. “What?” 

“At the tower. I--”

“Oh.” She remembers. Him in that cage. His face twisted in anguish. The words he’d thrown at her. “Oh,  _ no  _ Cullen. You don’t have to apologize for that. Are you… okay?”

“Yes. Yes! It uh. Took a while.” His gaze is distant, heavy with the weight of all he’s had to do to get back to that  _ okay  _ again. “But I’m… commanding the Inquisition’s forces now.” 

Her eyes pop. “Oh wow!” she laughs. “Well, would you look at us both. A long way from Kinloch Hold, I’d say.” 

He smiles, finally. “Indeed. It has been a while. What are you doing here?” 

“That’s… a bit of a story.” She tries to laugh, but it comes out sad.

She sees it on his face when he realizes. “Oh. I apologize. It’s… that Grey Warden, isn’t it?” 

Her mouth is suddenly dry. “Alistair.” 

“I met him.” His lips twitch. “You were all he talked about."

She groans. _"Ugh."_ But she's smiling. 

“He...cared for you very much.” 

_ “Cares.” _ Her voice is firm. 

“I…” He winces. “Of course. I didn’t mean--” 

She flicks her hand in a negating gesture, giving him a small smile to show it’s forgiven.

“Do you have a minute to catch up?” she asks suddenly. In truth, she’d hardly known him then, and he’s clearly a different man now. But she’s grown as well. And since Jowan… this is her one remaining link she has to the child she used to be, and she’s curious to see the different paths life has led them.

“Well, nothing seems to be exploding for the moment.” 

“Well bless the moment then. I know how rare those are.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First draft where I accidentally switched to Cullen's POV at the end: 
> 
> “That’s… a bit of a story.” She tries to laugh, but it comes out sad.
> 
> He suddenly remembers, that Warden they’d lost, when he had been here, he hadn’t been able to shut up about her. 
> 
> “Do you have a minute to catch up?” she asks suddenly. Her smile is sweet, and it’s the same one that used to make him do extra prayers to Andraste, but he’s a different man now. And clearly she’s different as well. He’s curious about where life has led her. “Sure, nothing seems to be exploding for the moment.”


End file.
